Family Tides
by LaFilmeMichelle
Summary: Kendall Hart Slater. What else is there to say? Oh yeah, a lot more...
1. Old Sanctuaries

**Old Sanctuaries**

_**A/N**__: Hello all! So this is my first AMC fanfic, and this chapter is short just to set you up. In case you don't get it along the way, much of the current storyline is the same, with my own little spin on it. An important change to be aware of is Kendall and Jake's relationship. Do not be alarmed: strictly platonic. You'll find out the specifics of their relationship, but to start you off, they were friends in college, slept together once, and are pretty much the Kendall/Ryan before the Kendall/Ryan. For the sake of the story, let's pretend they've had more scenes together and everyone is aware of their history. Let's begin! _

* * *

Inevitably, she was the outcast again.

She tucked Ian and Spike into bed and watched them sleep for a few minutes. Repeatedly trying to assure herself that her children were all she needed, she failed miserably as thoughts of the love of her life and the brother she just lost flooded her mind. She refused to let the tears start falling again as she backed out of her children's room, waiting till the door was closed to let a sob escape while willing her strength to rise.

Sitting in the living room she glanced at the photos she strategically placed around the room, a sort of constant reminder that she was always surrounded by family, blood or chosen. Kendall cringed when she thought of the night's earlier events: she lost her only brother, came across as easily dismissing her brother to her mother, had probably lost her two best friends, and ultimately disappointed her husband, again. What seemed to disturb her the most was that something broke between the two of them, her husband, her life-partner. She didn't know when, how, or why, but she was certain. They were holding on to bits of wreckage, not one piece stable enough to hold on to.

And then there was Annie. She just knew she was up to her tricks again. She _knew_ it. A lone tear slid down her now make-up free cheeks. No matter what Annie did to hurt Ryan or Greenlee, no one deserved to lose a child. The reality was all too real, and she had probably been the one to cause it.

Feeling slightly dizzy she steadied herself and sat up when she heard keys jiggling and finding their way to the lock. She knew there wasn't any way to brace for what had to happen, the things that were going to be said, but she loved her husband. She wasn't going down without a fight.

Zach seemed to not expect her up, which surprised her. He knew her. At least she was sure he did until the past couple of weeks.

He placed the keys on the table and took his jacket off. He was going to set on the adjacent chair but pivoted, making is way to the bedroom.

"Zach," Kendall called, her voice sounding wounded.

He continued to stare in the direction he was headed for a few moments before turning to look at her. He still didn't make eye contact, no matter how much her intense gaze willed him to.

"I'm sorry," she started, already realizing how lame it sounded, "I was wrong. I did everything…wrong."

He still hadn't answered, or made any indication of how he felt. She hated when he acted cold with her. Yes, she usually brought it on herself, but it was beginning to slowly piss her off. He should've acknowledged her sincerity. _Okay, that last part was a bit selfish_.

"Zach, I don't know what else to say."

It seemed like forever, but it was only a few seconds. He slowly took a step forward and looked her in the eyes.

"There is nothing else _to_ say." He took a step back. "You went too far Kendall. No matter how you felt about Annie, you shouldn't have confronted her in the hospital."

Kendall stood up. "I know that now, Zach, I-"

Zach looked at his wife incredulously. "You know that _now_, Kendall? You always say that. It's beginning to lose ground."

Feeling like the wind was momentarily knocked out of her, she composed herself and leaned on the arm chair for support. _I should've eaten._

"What are you saying Zach?"

"I'm saying," he grunted, growing more agitated with each breath she seemed to take, "you know what, I don't know what I'm saying."

He met her confused gaze.

"What I do know, is that I'm going to bed, because this, _this_ is what I'm not dealing with right now." He walked quickly to their bedroom and shut the door.

She sighed and sat back down.

* * *

Ten minutes later she decided that she wasn't going to be that person who sits on the couch because the other person implied that they didn't want her in the room that was theirs to share. She grabbed her keys, her jacket, and quietly closed the door to not wake anyone. Luckily she parked on the street and could get away without alerting Zach.

_Not that he would come for me right now, even if it is 2 o'clock in the morning_.

Pulling up to the dock she got out and sat on the pier, happy to see the place that stilled her thoughts beginning to do just that. Water was her sanctuary; it never judged her, had enough love to go around, yet seemed to always be there solely for her. It gave her the answers or showed her where to find them; most of the time anyway.

She wasn't quite sure what her life was going to be like now, but she knew she had a lot of mending to do, and she had to start with herself. She wasn't ready to say it out loud just yet, but she knew she had changes to make; she just wasn't sure how she was going to make them.

"Penny for your thoughts?"

Kendall nearly had a heart attack, so enwrapped in her thoughts she didn't hear anyone approach until they were there.

"Geez Martin, what's with the stealth-mode?"

Jake chuckled and sat next to Kendall, "I am not light on my feet Ken, you were just thinking hard. Did it hurt?"

Kendall punched him in the shoulder. "I told you to stop calling me that, I'm not a man."

"I dunno, you sure can hit like one," he replied, rubbing his shoulder. "So, what's up former lover?"

Kendall scoffed but couldn't help the smirk that formed. "It was one time Martin, get over it."

"Ah," he mocked, placing his hand over his heart, "but it was so magical."

Kendall smiled and stared back at the ocean. "I messed up Jake."

He nodded. "Yup. You did."

"Like, big time."

"Royally."

"You sure know how to make a girl feel better," she quipped, sadness streaming through. She leaned into him and they sat there for a few moments.

"How are you feeling, really?" He felt Kendall tense but then relax, guessing the strain of the day's events had made her momentarily forget the more pressing issue in her life.

"I'm doing good. Nothing to report here." She could feel him shake his head.

"Liar."

"This wasn't how it was supposed to be; I was supposed to make everything right and make sure everybody was okay before-" her voice hitched.

He sighed heavily and finished for her. "Before your year is up?"

She chuckled bitterly. "You mean before I die?"


	2. Before I Wake

**Before I Wake**

Jake watched her sleep, noticing how pale she looked now that the sun was shining through the living room. He'd insisted she sleep in the spare room, or even his, but she refused. Kendall went on about not wanting to be in a closed room in a house that the infamous David Hayward once lived in.

"Why are you staring at me?" she asked, not bothering to open her eyes.

"Because it's the only time you're not annoying. It's like an eight hour miracle."

She grinned, opening her eyes and sitting up. Jake made his way toward her and handed her some orange juice, sitting on the edge of the table in front of her.

"Thanks."

"It's just orange juice Ken."

She dismissed the annoying nick name with an eye roll. "No, I meant for-"

"I know. Not necessary." He got up and went back into the kitchen. She walked over and sat on the stool.

"So, what were you doing at the docks at three in the morning? Shouldn't you have been sleeping next to a warm body?"

It was Jake's turn to roll his eyes, "The warm body has a name. It's Amanda."

She reached over and took a fresh piece of bacon. "Oh, today it's Amanda, tomorrow it's Karen…"

"Anyway, I didn't feel like going over. I mean, I was going to, but-"

"Ha!" Kendall laughed, the first time in a long time, "moving too fast for you?"

Jake finished the eggs and began making their plates. "No."

He could feel Kendall's gaze. "Okay, maybe a little."

Kendall smirked as Jake took a seat next to her, placing their plates down and refilling their cups.

She swung her arm over his shoulder. "You know Jake, I haven't seen you act this way with a woman since Kayla Heines in college."

Jake grinned at the memory and quickly tried to hide it by stuffing his face. "Something like that."

* * *

Kendall finished dressing after her shower, grateful she always kept a bag packed with a change of clothes in her car.

"My shift starts in an hour," Jake leaned against the bathroom door frame. Want a lift?"

Kendall chuckled, amazed at how thoughtful and forgetful he could be at the same time. "I have my car, remember?"

"Yeah, I know, but.."

She looked up as his voice drifted off, realizing where this was headed. She finished up and turned the light off, gently squeezing his shoulder. "I'm fine Jake. Really. When I'm not, I'll let you know."

He followed her outside and locked up. "Promise?"

"Promise."

* * *

_The next day…_

"When do we do the next appointment?" Kendall asked, sliding on her jacket.

Dr. Cain offered a sad smile and closed the chart. "I would like to see you next week to do the last round of the tests. You can schedule a time that fits your schedule with the nurse at the desk."

_My schedule is suddenly a lot more free_. "Okay."

* * *

Unsure if her broken family was still at the hospital, she prayed she wouldn't run into any of them as she tried to sneak out. No such luck.

"What are you doing here?"

Kendall wasn't sure if she should continue walking or get it over and take the lashing. She chose the latter as she turned around, already feeling somewhat defeated and not up to another fight.

"Greenlee," she sighed.

Greenlee waited a few moments. "Well, good morning to you too." Greenlee advanced toward her friend. "Where have you been? I've been calling and then Zach-"

"Zach and I aren't in a very good place right now." Kendall took the opportunity to avoid the first question. "Aren't you mad and blame me for what happened to Annie and the baby? Why are you even talking to me?"

"Because I'm your best friend."

Kendall took in the statement and let out a sigh of relief. "So, we're good?"

Greenlee nodded. "Of course. We all make mistakes, and I doubt you caused the miscarriage. These things unfortunately happen."

A silent understanding passed between them as they honored the gravity of the situation.

"Well," Kendall started, suddenly not feeling too well, "I'm going to go home." She started to leave and then turned back. "If Ryan, you know…if it seems that it's okay, can you tell him I'm sorry?"

Greenlee gave her a small sad smile. "Sure."

* * *

_One down, three to go,_ Kendall thought as she sipped her coffee at the office, badly needing a distraction from the mess she'd made. Greenlee seemed to be over it; she just had to work on Zach, Ryan, and her mother. She wasn't sure where to start.

She got up and went to the bathroom and splashed water on her face, willing her hot flash to go away. The nausea she dealt with every day annoyed her to no end; especially when she felt she had to throw up to feel better and nothing would come out. She dry heaved over the toilet and quickly stopped herself once she heard the door open. She flushed the toilet and nodded to one of her employees as she washed her hands and exited. _Great, now she probably thinks I'm bulimic._

Deciding no work was going to get done, she left a note for the girls and decided to head home. She just needed to relax. It was early in the afternoon so she knew she'd be able to rest uninterrupted. All she needed was a little rest. She'd be fine.

Kendall drove home and made sure she was alone when she went into her study. She took a couple pills out of a bag she had hidden and got a glass of water. After swallowing the horse pills, she laid down, sure she'd be out like light for at least a couple of hours.

* * *

Zach arrived home a little later than usual. He wasn't sure what Kendall was up to or where she slept the night before. It bothered him that she didn't come home, but he also knew that it was probably for the best. He was tired of all the fighting.

After dealing with a little bit of the fall-out Jonathan created, he decided that something had to be done about his marriage, _now_. He'd tried a couple of weeks before to get Kendall to see it, but she was too busy meddling in other people's lives. She always was.

He knew she felt horrible about Ryan and Annie's situation; he also knew it was pretty low of him to insinuate she had something to do with it. The truth was he was hoping this would be the wake up call; he wasn't sure for whom anymore.

He called the nanny a couple hours before and made sure that she knew to take them to Erica's. She had agreed to watch her grandchildren, no matter how angry or upset she was at their parents.

Knowing Kendall was home because of her parked car, he slowly checked the house and finally found her in the bedroom. He knelt beside her and chuckled as her hair covered her face, gently swaying with each breath. He wanted to laugh again so badly with her. It made him sad to realize he hadn't laughed with her in a long time up until now, and now she was sleeping.

He moved the hair from her face and watched as her breathe hitched to accommodate the change in environment. It was then that he noticed how pale she was. Feeling her forehead, he began to grow a little worried as she seemed to have a fever.

"Kendall," he gently called her name, trying to stir her.

She shifted and pulled the pillow closer, but didn't wake up.

"Kendall," he tried again, a little more forcefully.

She slowly opened her eyes and looked up. "Yeah?"

"Are you feeling okay?"

It took her a moment to answer. _No_. "Uh, yeah." _Liar._

She was beyond stunned he was talking to her, civilly at that.

He stared at her, not thoroughly convinced. "Then what are doing sleeping at…" he looked at the clock, "eight o'clock at night?"

She sat up and put her hair in a bun. "I was just a little tired, I feel better now." She got up and attempted to stand and leaned on the dresser for support.

"Kendall?"

She smiled weakly and shrugged his gesture off. "I'm fine." She sat back down. "Just got up too quickly."

She noticed how quiet the house was. "Where are the kids?"

"At your mother's." Zach caught her eye-roll. "Why the look?"

Kendall caught herself. _He doesn't know yet_. "Umm…we kind of got into it yesterday."

"About Jonathan," Zach concluded, his jaw clench not going unnoticed by Kendall at the mention of her brother's name.

She nodded. "She thinks I've dismissed him and ignored him as part of the family because I won't tell her where he is."

Zach was trying to hold his temper. Not that she'd had a conversation with Erica about her brother, but that Kendall wasn't going to tell any one, not ever her mother, which made him certain she would never tell him. "He is her son."

"And he is my brother," she quipped back. "He is my brother who you were going to make disappear; my brother who you were going to take out of our lives forever to make an example. He was one of three people in this world who love me unconditionally."

The last part of her statement both infuriated and stung Zach.

She wasn't sure when she did, but she was now standing.

Zach slowly joined her. "And I don't?"

Kendall closed her eyes briefly and took a deep breath. "It doesn't feel that way."

She accepted his silence as an acknowledgement and continued. "Erica is angry, but I know that it'll pass once she understands the impossible situation I'm in. Bianca is, well, Bianca, and Jonathan was nothing short of amazing. He came into my life just a few years ago but loved me like he'd known me my whole life. He was always in my corner, no matter what." She looked at her husband through glassy eyes. "You used to be there."

"I just want my wife back, Kendall. That's all. I just want the woman I married, the woman who is happy here, with me, and our boys, and who doesn't need to help everybody else live their lives. I just want you. You have to leave everyone else alone."

Kendall felt her self getting worked up. "Or what?"

Impatience claimed Zach. "I can't keep living like this Kendall! Dreading to come home to have to hear all about other people's problems, and how you're going to fix them, and how angry Annie makes you, and how good of a man Ryan is, all the while having to calm you down just for you to remember you have your own family to take care of."

Kendall put one hand on the dresser. "Then I'll just stop!" she yelled, silently grateful her children were not in for the night. "You won't have to hear me worry about the well-being of my friends and family anymore. I'm the same person you married Zach; if I didn't care, I wouldn't be. Granted, I go about things the wrong way sometimes, but you act as if you could just stand by and watch your friends get played and do nothing about it."

"I can and I do. It's their lives. Simple as that."

She shook her head up and down. They were sounding like a broken record. "Okay, I got it."

Zach watched Kendall go from angry to calm in record time. Something just occurred to his wife and he wasn't sure what or why, but it scared him.

"Okay?" he asked, confused.

"Fine; no more meddling. No more disagreements, and no more talking about anyone's problems except yours and the boys."

"Kendall, that's not what-"

"No, you won, I give up. You're right. I won't bother you with what's on my mind anymore. I'm sorry, really." There was no bitterness in her voice. "Just remember your love isn't as unconditional as you thought it was." She cut him off again when she felt he was about to speak. She just wanted to go back to sleep. "You won't have to keep living like this much longer," she kissed him on the cheek and climbed into bed.

_And neither will I._

* * *

A couple of hours later Zach laid in bed next to Kendall, facing his side of the room. Something was going on with his wife, and it scared him. He'd never seen her cave ever since he'd known her so quickly, not before she was his wife, or during. She'd always been different with him, true, but tonight…he expected to be more frustrated and involved in a longer dispute. She had just…given up.

He knew they still had a lot of problems to solve, but he couldn't shake the fact that maybe something bigger was happening he was unaware of. On top of all that, no matter what, he loved Kendall with everything he had. He knew it would take more than a day to get the look on Kendall's face when she found out about Jonathan out of his mind. Of course he hadn't told her how sorry he was or anything; he was too angry at her butting in or hiding Jonathan from him. He had trusted Jonathan and he betrayed him. Along with Kendall's antics, he was sure he was slowly losing his mind.

His thoughts were interrupted as he felt his wife shift a few times, and finally quietly bolt to the bathroom. He didn't alarm her that he was awake; she didn't really fall asleep with a warm shoulder. He decided to let her be as he heard her sniffle here and there.

His willingness to give her space dissipated once he heard her empty her stomach. It sounded more like just liquid.

"Kendall?"

She looked up briefly before he head seemed too heavy to hold up. He could see her puffy eyes and started to her when she held her hand up.

"I'm fine Zach, go back to bed."

_Like hell_ he thought. Knowing that words were not going to help he wet a face cloth and helped her get cleaned up. He knew she wasn't going to fight him; she couldn't even sit down without leaning on the tub or toilet.

He helped her back to the bed after she brushed her teeth. She immediately faced her side of the room and hugged herself.

_She's making herself sick_. Zach stared at the back of his wife's unmistakable mane. He never really believed that people could make themselves sick. He was sure a believer now.

Slowly and with determination, he pulled Kendall to him. When she didn't pull away, he spoke softly. "You've got to stop Kendall."

He tensed as soon as he said it, not sure how it was going to be received. He relaxed when she stayed in his arms.

She wasn't sure how much longer she could keep it up for, but she was going to keep trying. It had been two months since she found out she was sick. She went in for a migraine and came out with the knowledge that she wasn't going to see Ian or Spike go to school.

For right now, she decided not to think of anything except being in the arms of the love of her life. It was the only place she wanted to be. She relaxed, still amazed at how well her body fit his, and tried to ignore the urge to return to the bathroom.

She didn't turn to face him as he felt her nod. "I know."

* * *

_**A/N**__: Thanks for reading guys! I love the Jake and Kendall ship too! I guess she already has too many men in her life on the show. ;) _

_**Lauren Grant, PC**_: Thank you for the review! Greatly appreciated!

_**Jade**_: Loved the feedback! No worries…I have it all planned out. Of course it will be Zendall, Jonathan is not to be forgotten, a more surprises a long the way.


	3. Blue, Brown, and Red

**Blue, Brown, and Red**

"Are you sure you want blue and brown?"

Greenlee evil-eyed her best friend and put down the swatch. "For the third time Kendall, _yes._"

Kendall shrugged her shoulders. "Fine, it's your wedding!"

"Yes it is," Greenlee grinned. After easily persuading Aiden to agree to their bigger and second wedding in the past two months, they chose to have a formal reception in two months. Wasting no time at all, she enlisted Kendall's help, hoping to brighten her mood as of late.

Kendall couldn't stop the grin that mirrored Greenlee's. She was actually going to be in a dress that was designed just for her as maid-of-honor in her best friends wedding. _At least one of us is happy._

Ever since her talk with Zach the week before things were pretty cordial between them. He seemed to be quite attentive. She felt like a borg. She went through the motions and was genuine in her efforts, but her smiles didn't quite reach her eyes. She knew she should stop feeling sorry for herself and wasting time, but being Kendall, she couldn't help but sulk, if just for a little longer.

"So," Greenlee said, breaking her away from her thoughts, "when are you going to talk to Ryan?"

Kendall picked up another swatch, seeming completely enthralled with it. "When he stops hating me; what do you think of these ones?"

Greenlee snatched the swatch away. "_Blue_ and _brown_; and he doesn't hate you Kendall. He's just grieving."

Kendall nodded, knowing she was just being selfish. In truth, she actually hadn't spoken to Ryan since that night. She wanted to give him space, and at the she time afraid of what he might have to say.

"Okay; I'll check on him later." She stopped and turned to her friend. "What about lavender and brown?"

Greenlee rolled her eyes and walked away.

* * *

Kendall sighed as she leaned against the wall in the hospital stairway, a few tears making the way down her face. _So much for positive thinking._

She hurriedly pushed the test results in her purse and wiped her face as she heard footsteps. She pulled out her phone to look busy and to have an excuse to look down, making it harder to welcome any kind of greeting.

"Kendall?"

_No such luck_.

She looked up and saw the one person she wasn't quite ready to face. "Ryan."

Ryan chuckled half-heartedly. "What, you're not happy to see me?"

Kendall shifted nervously. "Um, how've you been?"

"Not so good." An uncomfortable silence ensued.

"Ryan-"

"Kendall-"

The two friends gestured for the other to go first.

"Ryan, I'm so sorry, really I am. And I know it doesn't make anything better, and I say it all the time, and I always try to fix things, and they don't always go as planned," she took a deep breath and wiped away a few stray tears, "and…I'm just sorry."

Ryan looked at Kendall and took his hands out of his pockets. When he didn't answer soon enough she looked away.

"That's all I wanted to say." She wiped her face for the third time and clutched her purse. "I'll see you around."

She moved to open the stairwell door but stopped at the sound of his voice.

"It wasn't your fault, Kendall."

That statement suddenly made her feel lighter. Not sure if she heard correctly or not, she didn't move.

"It wasn't your fault, but I do need you to do something for me," Ryan said, his voice not quite urgent but still able to make her turn around.

"Anything," she replied, facing Ryan.

"I mean this in the nicest way possible; I know you want to protect me, but sometimes you need to just-"

"Butt out?" she finished, a small smile escaping.

He nodded, returning a smile of his own. "Or at least try a little harder."

"Okay." She then rushed and hugged him. Temporarily stunned, he returned the hug and chuckled.

It had been a long time since they had been in a place like that. He continued to hold her. "Kendall, what else is going on?" He felt her tense.

"Nothing." She slowly pulled away and offered a smile. Looking at her watch she gave his hand a small squeeze. "I have to get going, call me later?"

He nodded and watched her leave. He knew there was something else, but right now he had his life to sort out. There was one person he needed to make amends with.

"Annie."

* * *

After feeling incredibly relieved that Ryan didn't hate her, another reality began to set in. She finally got the test results back and nothing had changed. The doctor had still said she had a year left, maximum, and was eager for her to start treatment. It was going to be even harder to hide the effects of the chemo. The good thing was that the cancer hadn't spread. The longer it stayed where it was prolonged her life. She chuckled bitterly.

Kendall took a deep breath and considered talking to the only person who knew: Jake. She knew he would honor her wishes and keep it a secret for as long as she asked, but she also knew how hard it was for him as well. He didn't really have to lie to anyone; not yet at least.

She quickly dismissed the thought and decided to call Zach and have dinner at The Grill. After waiting in the lobby a few minutes early, she couldn't shake another round of nausea. Quickly making her way to the bathroom and finding her new pills, she washed up and headed back out. On the way to the lobby she heard a familiar voice.

"_No, I just want to be by myself for a while."_

_Annie_, Kendall realized.

"_Bye Ryan, I'll call you in the morning, okay?"_

Kendall remained hidden after Annie hung up. She was alarmed when Annie put her phone away and kept talking. She was even more surprised at who she seemed to be talking, or _not_ talking to.

"Shut up Richie," Annie said.

Kendall's eyes grew wide. She seemed to be having a conversation with her dead brother who, of course, was no where to be seen.

"It wasn't my fault; it was Greenlee's. I…I just couldn't let her know I was there with a gun to kill her, couldn't go through with it, and was having a miscarriage in her house!"

Kendall bit her tongue, wanting to get as much information as possible. Her plan didn't pan out as her husband approached and Annie regained her composure.

"Annie," he smiled warmly, his eyes conveying his condolences. "Are you here for dinner?"

Annie shook her head no, "I just had a business meeting for Fusion. I'm on my way out."

_Yeah right,_ Kendall scoffed, deciding it was time to make her presence known.

"Hi hon," she tried to sound cheerful. She looked at the woman she came to dislike. "Annie."

Zach looked between the two women and took his wife's arm. "We better get going." He steered Kendall. "Call us if you need anything."

Annie nodded and they went their separate ways.

* * *

"Okay, what is it?" Zach asked. It had been thirty minutes, Kendall was picking at her food, and she'd been giving him the shortest answers possible. He knew she was biting her tongue.

She smiled shortly, met his gaze, and looked back down. "Nothing, just a little tired."

Knowing that it was a lie because dinner was her suggestion, he reached across and touched her hand.

"You don't want to hear it, and I don't have the energy to calm you down."

With a pretty good idea that it was not concerning him or the boys, he decided to pry. "I'm asking."

Kendall looked at him, knowing full well she couldn't keep her mouth shut about something of this magnitude, but also aware that there was a good chance Zach wasn't going to entertain her.

"Um, I kind of overheard Annie talking. I think she wants to hurt Greenlee."

Zach sat back and tried to listen, objectively.

"She got off the phone with Ryan, and then started talking to herself; well, not herself because she said Richie, but she was going on about how she had the miscarriage at Greenlee's house while she was there to shoot her."

Zach stared at his wife and leaned forward. "Do you know how crazy and paranoid you sound right now?"

Kendall slouched in defeat. At least she tried. "Zach, I heard her-"

"You heard what you wanted Kendall," Zach started, rising from his seat. "I thought we talked about this."

Kendall sighed, returning to poke at her food, speaking low, "You asked."

Zach knew she was right about that fact. "I did." He looked at his watch. "I have a meeting to get to; are going to get home all right?"

_I got here didn't I?_ "Yes."

Zach nodded and motioned the waiter over to put it on his monthly tab. "I'll see you at home then."

"Okay."

Kendall looked around as Zach left, not quite sure how to save her failing marriage. What she did know was that she needed to warn Greenlee. She got up and walked out of the restaurant, not noticing Annie at the bar overhearing every single word.

Annie got up and followed Kendall. _Maybe I went after the wrong one._

* * *

Kendall got out of the car, wishing more than anything that Zach would believe her.

"Who has a meeting at nine in the evening?" she said aloud to no one.

She was just about to shut the door when she heard hurried footsteps. "Wha-"

Annie looked around and was grateful that they were in an underground parking garage; Greenlee's to be exact. She picked up Kendall and dragged her around the passenger side of the car and pulled her inside. With one last look she sped off, not caring to clean the small trail of blood left behind.

* * *

**RedDragon**, **Gabbylynn**: _Thanks a mil!_

**PC**: _Thank you so much! Motivation. ___


	4. And Through the Woods

**And Through the Woods**

Jake blinked a couple of times and remembered where he was: Amanda's. It had been about a month and he still wasn't used to waking up next to her. Right now, she was what he needed in his life.

Quickly trying to answer the phone before it woke his girlfriend up, he opened it and went to the next room.

"This is Jake."

"_Hey, it's Greenlee. Have you seen Kendall?"_

Jake shook his head no, forgetting he wasn't in the same room with her. "No. Why?"

He heard her sigh. _"She didn't come home last night and she's been acting a little strange. Zach and her had a little disagreement yesterday, but she wouldn't just leave, no matter what."_

He ran his hands through his hair. "Uh, okay. I'll let you know if she calls."

"_Thanks Jake,"_ his ex said,_ "I'll talk to you later."_

Jake sat on the couch after he hung up the phone. He quickly dialed Kendall's number and wasn't all that surprised to get her voicemail.

"Hey Kendall, it's me. Call me when you get this. I just want to make sure you're, you know, okay and everything."

He wanted to believe that she was just out collecting her thoughts somewhere, maybe psyching herself up to tell her husband she was sick. Something else in his gut was implying otherwise.

* * *

Zach looked up from his desk. "Come in."

The little force-to-be-reckoned-with known as Greenlee DeVane stormed in and plopped down on the chair in front of him.

"Just what do you think you're doing?"

Zach chuckled, amused, and started organizing the papers he was working on. "I'm working. You should try it sometime."

She leaned back, "you should try telling that to your wife today." She grabbed a water bottle and opened it. "Have you heard from her yet?"

His expression turned stoic. "No. She's probably just having one of her fits." He looked down at his watch. "It's only the afternoon; she's probably with Jake," he said, with unintended bite.

Greenlee smirked, temporarily sidetracked. "Ah, is _the_ Zach Slater jealous of Jake Martin?"

Zach shrugged it off, knowing it was irrational. "No, I'm simply stating she spends a lot of time with him."

"He's one of-"

"Her best friends, I know. _Everybody_ is."

Greenlee studied her close friend, wondering what really was going on. "I'm one of your best friends."

Zach nodded.

"And I'm a girl. Shouldn't she be jealous of us?"

Zach gave her look. "Greenlee; not the same."

Greenlee, sighed, figuring both of her friends where reading into everything lately. "Okay, look," she said, getting up. "She's in love with you, not Jake. You guys need to figure out what's really going on." Her voice transitioned from stern to soft. "Something isn't right with her, and instead of ignoring it because she doesn't want to talk about it, you need to press her until she does."

She put the top back on her bottle and turned around with her hand on the door knob. "You know it isn't like her to not call me or Jake, or even leave her kids for a night. She's not at work and it's two o'clock. You should find her." She made sure her statement sunk in. "Okay, I have to go, thanks for the water."

Zach stared where Greenlee just stood and came to a conclusion. She was right.

* * *

Kendall could not believe where she was when she finally woke up. Annie was as twisted as her brother Richie. She was staring at the same rug she stood on when she went to save Babe. _The cabin._

Any further thoughts were interrupted when Annie opened the front door. She put the keys on the table and sat down.

"Well, finally! You were asleep for at least ten hours."

_Well, yeah; that's what happens when you knock someone out._ Kendall decided it best not to speak; this woman was clearly out of her mind.

When she didn't answer, Annie went and stood in front of her, yanking her head back. "You look a little pale." She let go and dug a few bottles from Kendall's purse. "What the heck are all these for?" She tried to pronounce some of the names and then threw them on the couch when she tired. "Okay, so you're not talking to me."

Annie retreated to one of the bedrooms and came back out shortly. She held a bucket of water and what looked to be a stun gun. "That's okay. You'll answer me in a little bit."

* * *

It was now eight at night and Zach still hadn't heard anything from Kendall. Deciding to put his pride in the backseat, he drove back to the casino where he was met by some of his men.

He only had to look at them and speak a few words that were more full of meaning than most could discern, not being under his command.

"Find my wife."

* * *

Two hours later Jake was headed home when he heard a scream. He chuckled to himself, pretty sure he was being paranoid. _I live in the woods like a horror flick. It's just nerves_. His initial conclusion proved inaccurate as he heard the scream again. He looked around and saw a cabin with a light on in the distance, possibly the source. Looking to be a good five-minute walk, he advanced and had a handle on his cell.

* * *

Unable to stop Greenlee and Aiden from accompanying him, and in turn, Ryan who was with them at the time for some reason, the four were headed somewhere in the woods. The GPS in his wife's cell at least let him know where the phone was. He just hoped she was there too.

As he neared a cabin the car was silent; had been for the entire ride. His men had traced where Kendall had been and showed him security footage of Greenlee's parking garage. Zach tried to stop the bile rising every time he thought about her blood on the floor, which seemed to be about every minute. He knew logically that it wasn't enough for her to be dead, but he knew that she was hurt.

He turned off his headlights as he got closer. He saw a cabin about a quarter of a mile away and parked. Cursing under his breath he realized that he and Aiden were here not too long ago looking for Richie.

The four got out of the car and headed toward the cabin, all three men making sure Greenlee was behind them.

The scream made them forget all strategy as they ran.

* * *

Kendall was sure that this was it. She hadn't eaten in twenty four hours or taken any of her pills, she had a concussion and was pretty sure that the next time Annie decided to taze her would be the last thing she ever felt.

Completely exhausted and unable to hold her head up, she could hear Annie mumbling, her voice farther away for a moment and then returning.

When she finally managed to open her eyes she was staring at the barrel of a gun.

* * *

As Zach and the others neared the house, they stopped abruptly when they heard rustling of leaves a few yards away. Aiden slowly raised his gun. He lowered it once they saw Jake peering through one of the windows. Aiden faintly whistled to get his attention.

Jake joined them, completely confused as to what they were doing.

"What are you guys doing here?" he whispered.

Greenlee poked him. "We could ask you the same thing!"

"I heard someone screaming," he looked at them, signaling it was now their turn.

Ryan looked far off, "Annie has Kendall."

Jake slowly put the pieces together.

"We don't have time for this!" Zach said, not waiting for them to follow him. He wasn't sure if the stopped screaming was a good or bad thing. He motioned for Jake, Aiden, and Greenlee to go to the back. He took Ryan with him through the front, knowing Ryan was probably a safe way to end the situation.

* * *

Annie, enraged that Kendall didn't seem to care she had a gun in her face, pistol-whipped her.

Kendall was sure it was her dead weight and not Annie's force that sent her chair back. As if she'd forgotten, her head reminded her that it felt like it was going to explode on the impact. All she could do was lay there.

She didn't have to for long. She heard a few people say her name, a commotion or two, and a gun shot.

She suddenly felt very light.

* * *

_**A/N:**_ _Sorry guys! It's been brought to my attention I've been calling Josh Jonathan. I meant Josh!! Thanks!_

_**Happyhunting**_: Thanks, and hope you liked this one!

_**RedDragon**_: Oh, they found her all right!  Keep reading!


	5. Easy Come, Easy Go

**Easy come, easy go**

Aiden continued holding the gun that he'd been forced to use, Greenlee still gripping his arm. He slowly lowered it and watched as Ryan rushed to Annie's side. She wasn't going to be a problem anymore.

As soon as Annie had dropped to the ground, her hand gun falling away from her, Zach rushed to Kendall's side. He wasn't sure if she was awake, but he tried to coax her to assess her injuries.

"Kendall," he said softly, moving some of the hair from her face. "Can you hear me? Kendall?"

Zach took one of her hands in his and looked at Jake who had kneeled down on her other side. "Jake?"

After checking her pulse and not getting her to wake up, he looked around the room for anything to help. He saw her pills on the couch and hoped no one else was paying attention.

"Her pulse is erratic, but she's got one. We need to get her to the hospital, _now_" he said, checking her pupils. "I think she's gone into shock."

"Annie!"

For the first time since the rescue, the focus shifted to Ryan yelling his wife's name. His panicked eyes met Zach's unsympathetic gaze.

"We have to get her to the hospital!" Ryan yelled, not sure what he was feeling.

Zach looked down at Kendall. "She's not riding in my car."

"Zach-"

"She tried to kill my wife!" It was Zach's turn to yell. He kissed her with glassy eyes as he helped Jake remove the ropes. The look on Jake's face told him to hurry. He carefully lifted Kendall and headed for the door. Greenlee quickly hurried after him, her own tears making it difficult to see.

Aiden went to Ryan, remembering the friendship they once shared. "I'm sorry, but she was going-"

Ryan nodded, "I know. I know."

Jake stood up and took his keys out, tossing them to Aiden. "It's five minutes away, west."

Aiden gave a quick nod and headed out to bring the car around. Seizing the opportunity, Jake pocketed the pills on the sofa. He put a hand on Ryan's shoulder before leaving to join Zach.

* * *

Erica was filled in on the night's events as she sat in the waiting room with Kendall's friends and husband. She didn't really get a chance to absorb much when Jake came out in scrubs.

"How's my daughter?"

"How is she Jake?"

"Is she going to be all right?"

Jake turned to the one person who had slowly stood but had yet to say anything. He gave him a reassuring nod.

"Kendall is in pretty bad shape, but she'll be all right," he rushed. "I need to talk to Zach in private, and then he can fill you in, okay?"

Not giving them anytime to answer, or in reality, ask a bunch more questions, he led Zach to a quieter space.

"I'm just going to say it. She hasn't eaten for about twenty-four hours, she has a concussion, and uh…"

"And what?" He hadn't meant to sound impatient, but the guilt of not listening to what his wife had to say repeatedly was eating at him. He felt responsible. "I'm sorry."

Jake shrugged it off. "It's okay. Um, so, yeah. She was, well, at least three or four times..." he looked Zach in the eyes quickly and then darted away, "shocked."

The anger that was slowly building directed towards Annie and himself reached new heights. Before he could explode, a thought stopped him. Jake continued, confirming his past quick observation.

"It looks like Annie splashed her with water, before, you know" he gestured.

Zach looked straight through Jake. His next statement came out under his breath. "So she tortured her."

All Jake could do was nod.

With an eerie calmness, Zach shifted his weight slightly and put his hands in his pockets. "What can we expect?"

The inner-conflict Jake was experiencing finally subsided once he thought whose choice it was. He could certainly omit a thing or two, but more than doctor-patient confidentiality, he feared his best friend; sick or not. Keeping that in mind, he answered.

"She'll be asleep for a little while. When she wakes up, she'll be in a lot of pain and will probably have a pretty bad migraine. She won't feel like it, but she'll need to eat. The next week she'll pretty much be like a baby, sleeping all the time. She'll fight it," he smirked. His expression turned serious. "She'll fight it, but she'll need her rest."

Zach nodded and shook his hand. "Thanks, for everything."

* * *

After lots of bickering and persuading, Erica finally went home and caught a ride with Jack. Aiden took Greenlee home only after she promised a sleeping Kendall that she would check on the boys and bring her some clothes and real food in the morning. Zach had avoided everything and everybody as he sat vigilant in the chair beside his wife's bed.

"How is she doing?"

Zach didn't have to look up to see who it was. He knew his anger was ill-directed, but at the moment, he didn't care."

"Take a look at her and you tell me."

Ryan exhaled and leaned against the doorframe. "Zach-"

He leaned forward and shook his head, seeming to clear some of the air. "I'm sorry. I'm just a little on edge."

Ryan nodded and moved to the other side of her bed, giving her hand a gentle squeeze before letting go. He didn't remember when he'd seen her so pale.

Almost making his tongue bleed, Zach managed to say her name. "How is Annie doing?"

Stunned at what seemed like his concern for Annie, he was momentarily at a loss for words.

"Um, she's not doing too well. They don't think she'll make it through the night," he quickly added.

Truly sorry for what Ryan was experiencing, he gave him space. "I'm sorry for what you're dealing with."

Ryan nodded. "I'm sorry she did this. I don't know who she is."

Zach finally understood the vibe Kendall always mentioned she got from Annie lately. He was so determined not to be involved that he was reckless.

"You're not the only one she fooled Ryan."

Ryan made his way to the door. "No; but I was the only one who was supposed to _know_ her."

* * *

Two days later Kendall still hadn't woken up. Although concerned, Jake couldn't say she was in any imminent danger. Her vitals were as good as one could expect with cancer and being electrocuted; her body just demanded rest.

That's what he tried telling Greenlee for the third time, minus the cancer part.

"Greens, look, there's nothing to worry about for a few more days, okay?"

She pouted but nodded in understanding, slouching in defeat. "I miss my best friend."

Jake laughed, his first genuine one since seeing his best friend on the cabin floor. "It's only been two days! What are you going to do when…"

She grinned amused and intrigued. "When, what Jake?"

The smile slid off his face and he scrambled to cover. "When you guys hate each other again?"

She playfully shoved him. "We always find our way back, and we don't plan on having to ever again."

The lighting in the cabin was much lighter than she remembered. She squinted as she stirred, wondering what was possibly going to occur next. She knew she wasn't going to give up; she still had to say goodbye to Zach and her boys. Feeling miraculously energized she tried to fully open her eyes. When she couldn't just yet, she felt confused. Annie had given her a pillow? She was on a bed; not tied up to a chair on the floor.

She opened her eyes and tried to sit up. Her head was pounding.

"Hey there, easy tiger."

She felt someone easing her down. "Jake?" She threw her arm over her eyes. Feeling him no longer near her, she began to panic. "Jake?!"

Soon the room was darker and she felt him grab her hand. "Hey, it's me, you're okay. You're at the hospital."

She nodded, the stray tear that had fallen was not helping her headache.

"I turned the lights down; I think you can move your arm now."

She smiled once she met his eyes, and with surprising strength, pulled him to her for a hug.

"I love you too Ken," he chuckled. He pulled away and stared at Kendall. "You had us worried there for a second."

Her eyes widened. "You didn't tell them, did you?'

He shook is head, "No, but I almost had to if your butt didn't wake up." He looked towards the hallway. "Speaking of which, I promised your bodyguard/husband I'd get him as soon as you graced us with your wakening."

She nodded apprehensively.

Jake turned around by the doorway. "You know, you should tell them. That was too close."

He didn't wait for a response as he went to get Zach.

* * *

Unsure of how his wife would receive him, Zach Slater timidly walked into Kendall's room with his hands in his pockets. The look on her face didn't exactly inspire confidence either. For the first time in a long time, he couldn't read her. That pretty much terrified him.

He advanced toward her bed and mustered the strength to look her in the eyes. "Baby, I'm _so_ sorry," he choked out, half relieved she was awake and half angry at himself for not believing the person he promised to love and cherish. "I really thought-"

Her hand on his silenced him as a sad smile graced her features. "It's okay. I guess it was kind of hard to believe."

At a loss for words, he studied her as she grimaced, trying her best to hide it. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing; just a little headache."

Zach nodded in understanding. He had momentarily forgotten about the torture in his quest for redemption. "Jake told me what happened," he started as she refused to meet his gaze. "He said that she-"

Kendall swallowed the lump and waited for her eyes to dry up a bit. She wasn't quite ready to have a heavy conversation besides the one she _had_ to have at the moment.

"It's over," she finished. "Let's just try to focus on the future okay?"

He nodded and pushed back some of her curls, offering her the lightest touch on her lips. He pulled back and looked down, shaking off the feeling that they were never going to be the same.

She grabbed his hand and held it the way she did when she had to tell him she wasn't sure he was going to handle well. He tensed, but she held on.

"There's something I have to tell you," she almost whispered.

Before she could continue a wreck of a man advanced as if he was only walking out memory.

"Ryan?" she asked, needing confirmation for the reason he thought he looked so distraught.

It took a moment for him to answer. Even then, he couldn't look her in the eyes. "She didn't make it."

* * *

_**Jillianna**__: You are great! Thanks!_

_**PC**__: Crazy Annie is right!_

_**RedDragon**__, __**happyhunting**__: Aw, thanks!_

_**NavyBlueDreamsandKhatkitthoughts**__: Nope, hopefully she stays!_

_**Olivia01**__: Loved your review! And I totally agree: so tired of the Annie storyline!_

_**Jade**__: Ha! "After all, this is soapfiction." Like the way you think._

_**Lily**__, __**Lanie**__: Again, apologies for the mix up in names in chapter 1._


	6. Goodbye Paris

**Goodbye Paris**

Kendall stared at Ryan, watching his conflicting emotions fight to express themselves across his features. She shook her head and wiped a few tears away, unsure of the cause. She tried to tell herself she was crying for Ryan's loss, but she was really crying for hers as well. She'd lost a friend too. No matter what Annie had done or how twisted she'd turned out to be, she was still her family at one time. She could still recall how Annie was there for her when her children were in the hospital, and how close they'd become in such a short time. She knew she lost Annie way before her actual death, but it made her feel a new sadness that it didn't hurt as much as she thought it should.

Once the service was over, every body headed to Confusion. She asked Greenlee to shut it down for the day to make things easier on Ryan. As she sat in a booth with Greenlee and Aiden, she leaned into Zach, missing the way their bodies fit together. There was an unspoken peace between them; she knew they would still need to talk things out, but they both had a lot to take in. She still needed to tell Zach about her cancer; now just wasn't the best time.

"Hey," Zach said, grabbing her attention as he rubbed her back. "Where'd you go just now?"

She offered him a smile. "I guess I'm just a little tired."

Quickly concerned, he offered to take her home.

"No, I'm okay; I think I just need some fresh air."

"Want me to come with you?" he almost pleaded.

Kendall tried to suppress a small smile at her husband's affection. Ever since she'd been released he seldom let her out of his sight. "Sure," she replied, allowing him to lead her to the roof.

* * *

Glad to be alone for a few minutes after leaving Zach, Kendall sat at her desk upstairs with her head on her desk. She smiled as she felt the vibrations from the music downstairs. She was more than glad that it wasn't a sob-fest; not out of spite but more than anything for Emma. Babe and Amanda had really stepped up and made sure any time someone would bring up the horrendous stories of Annie's later acts to divert everyone's attention elsewhere.

Knowing that Zach would soon set out to find her she got up to join the party only to be hit with another wave of weakness. That seemed to be happening a lot more lately. She took a deep breath and tried to make it to her purse she thought she set down next to her. Right now it seemed like a football field away.

"Looking for this?"

She had just enough energy to turn her head slightly to find who the voice belonged to. "Martin," she rasped out, trying extremely hard to keep her cool and not collapse. "Do you think you could-"

"Sure." He put the purse down and guided, well, more like dragged her back to her seat. He found a bottle of water, got her pills out and waited for her to take them. She placed her head back on her desk and took a few breaths.

"Better?" Jake asked when she slowly lifted her head.

Kendall leaned back and closed her eyes. "Getting there."

The two shared a comfortable silence while her breathing steadied and the world stopped moving.

"So, are you stalking me?"

Jake chuckled, "Hardly." He got up and grabbed another purse. "Amanda asked me to come grab her purse."

"That's a clutch," she laughed. "Wow, you're willing to hold a clutch. I think I'm offended," she said, looking reflective. "You never held my purse!"

"That's because you never asked."

Kendall thought for a moment. "Okay, true enough."

"Any way," Jake said, standing up to meet Kendall who was doing the same, "have you told Zach?"

He watched as her face fell. "It just doesn't seem to be the right time."

Jake scoffed, "Babe, it's never going to be the right time for news like this."

He held his arm out for her to take as the advanced toward the elevator.

"I know," she sighed. "Deadline?"

He shook his head, "Oh gosh, really? That was in college."

She nodded. "Really."

"Okay…you have until the end of the week."

"Define 'the end of the week.'"

Jake looked at her like she grew another head. "I mean the end of the week; Saturday. You have until Saturday."

She nodded, seeming satisfied. "Okay; I'll tell Zach by Saturday. I have a deadline to tell him about my supposed-impending death. That's morbid, right?"

Jake nodded and pulled her in for a side hug. "Pretty much."

* * *

Zach's attention shifted from Ryan to Kendall and Jake as they exited the elevator. He was happy to see her smiling, but he also could tell that she was beyond exhausted and in pain. He'd never been electrocuted, but he figured the discomfort his wife was still experiencing was a bit abnormal.

He smiled as she grabbed his arm and gave it a light squeeze. Jake had gone to accompany Amanda as they said their goodbyes. He was ready to do the same.

"Ready?"

She was practically asleep standing up. "Mmhmm."

Ryan set his drink down as the couple prepared to leave. "Hey, can I talk to Kendall for a moment?"

Zach nodded and kissed Kendall. "I'm going to say goodnight to your mom; I'll wait for you by the door."

"So," Kendall wasn't sure what he was going to say. She'd tried to stay out of his way for the last couple of days, not quite sure how he felt about her and the whole situation.

"Thank you, for _everything_. You didn't have to do," he gestured around the room, "this. Especially after…"

She put a comforting hand on his arm. "It's okay Ryan. None of it was your fault. She was just, sick."

He nodded, not trusting his voice just yet.

"And you, you're gonna be okay Lavery." She kissed his cheek and leaned back. "We all are."

They shared a tight hug and she began walking away, promising to call him later in the week.

"Kendall?"

"Yeah?"

Ryan looked at her like he used to, before Annie, a little hope of their stability returning. "When you're ready, you can tell me what's wrong."

She gave a sly smile and headed for Zach. It was time to tell the love of her life what was going on.

* * *

After carefully kissing their boys goodnight so as not to wake them up, Kendall plopped down on her bed, exhausted. She had closed her eyes for a few minutes when she felt her shoes being taken off.

"Thanks," she mumbled, grateful for the gesture. She sat up and he joined her on the bed, brushing her hair out of her face.

She was tired, _really_ tired, but she knew she'd never really have the energy to tell him in any situation. There was no time like the present.

"I know I've been a little off lately," she started.

He nodded. He wasn't going to interrupt with a verbal acknowledgment. He knew his wife had something she had been hiding. For some reason, he also knew it wasn't to hurt him. The past few weeks he noticed how conflicted she'd been, needing to tell him something but always thinking better of it.

"I need you to know that I love you, with everything I have, and I don't want to hurt you… but I've been kind of lying to you."

Zach inhaled sharply. His thoughts went to Ryan. _Maybe she's still in love with him?_ As soon as that thought entered his mind it left. He knew his wife better than that.

"About what?"

She swallowed as the tears formed. She hated how easily she cried nowadays. "I haven't exactly been as busy as I've been leading on. Okay, I have been, but nothing like what I've told you, like business meetings or stuff like that."

He nodded. He had no idea what it could be.

_Okay Kendall; just rip the bandage off_. "I've been with Jake."

Zach looked confused. He wasn't expecting that.

Kendall managed to let out a small chuckle. "Oh Zach, come on, not like that."

Zach nodded. Rationally, he knew that; she kind of just through him for a loop. So, Jake was a doctor…maybe she was pregnant? That would explain the tiredness.

"He's one of my doctors, because, um," she shifted and could not, for the life of her, look him in the eye. "I'm sick. Not like, the flue sick; I have cancer" she blurted.

It was a good ten seconds before she could look him in the eyes. The moment she did she knew exactly why she didn't want him to ever find out. She knew that was impossible, but the look on his face and the way his usually strong voice broke when he finally spoke made the reality of the situation that much more vivid.

"What, I mean, how…" he couldn't form one coherent thought aside from losing his wife was a possibility.

Kendall decided to just tell him everything at once. Information in installments was not something she was up for. She never wanted to see her husband like this again. Ever.

"I start chemo pretty soon. They said that, uh, well, they told me how long to expect."

"Expect to what?"

She took in a deep breath. "Expect to live. They said six months." She didn't mean to sound so cold or indifferent, it was just a fact.

Zach slowly got up and looked out the window. He didn't have any words. He needed to collect himself. He was a solver; he could find a solution. He was sure of it. Every problem had a solution.

"I can fix it."

Kendall chuckled bitterly, "You can't give cancer money to go away Zach." She got up and joined him, hugging him from behind. "I love you for trying though."

Zach held on to her arms around his waist.

"I know this is a lot to take in, and you and Jake are the only ones that know. He actually convinced me to tell you; not that I wasn't going to, I just didn't _want_ to." She rested her head on his back. "It's not going to be pretty, but I am going to fight. I'm a Kane and a Slater; that's pretty much a recipe for me not giving up."

Zach nodded. There were so many questions he had, but he knew they could wait. He felt her grip loosen a little, knowing she needed to lie down but wouldn't until she felt she could leave him. He carried her to the bed, a lump in his throat, wordlessly laying her down. Neither one bothered to get undressed as Kendall held her husband minutes later, holding him tight as he quietly sobbed into her chest.

* * *

Zach watched as the sunlight revealed his wife's true hair color, the owner unaware of the new morning. He smiled as he thought of how easily they shifted positions as they slept, Kendall now lying on his chest with her arms wrapped around his waist. His smile quickly faded as he remembered why she'd been the one holding _him_.

He hastily blinked, willing his watering eyes to remain dry. Now was the time to be strong. He knew he'd have to deal with what he was feeling at some point, but everything now was going to be about Kendall and what she needed.

Looking at her more than usual petite frame he held her tighter, ashamed for not noticing before. He soon tried recalling every fight she'd let him win, every conversation her eyes pleaded with him, desperately depending on him to see past the surface. He was in such deep thought that he barely noticed his son trying to whisper for him.

"What's up Spike?" he said softly, both not wanting to wake Kendall or seem distant.

"Dada," he spoke, holding his arms in routine for his father to pick him up.

Zach carefully shifted and lifted Spike up. He motioned for Spike to remain quiet and not wake up Kendall. Not quite understanding what his father was trying to tell him, he rubbed his eyes and yawned. Kendall had shifted again, this time her back was to Zach. Spike found the small available space inviting and laid down between his parents, perfectly content with using his mother's hair as a pillow.

Wrapping his arm around his wife and son, Zach soon found himself nodding off to sleep as well.

* * *

Zach woke up for the second time that morning, this time by himself. He got up and washed his face and checked in on the nanny and his boys. They both were currently playing with their food instead of eating it. He smiled at Tina as she tried to get one to eat while the other was putting his food on the other. He then followed his wife's voice to their shared office.

"I know; it's been a long time Bynx. How are you?"

He didn't enter the room as they exchanged greetings. He decided to brush his teeth and come back. Upon his return he leaned against the doorframe, catching his wife's eye.

"Um, about that, I don't think I'll be able to visit you this year," Kendall said, toying with the telephone cord.

Zach watched as Kendall began to fidget and momentarily hold the phone away from her ear. He could only guess that Bianca was a little stunned and had elevated her normal soothing voice; they'd practically visit each other once a year, making it a priority.

"The thing is," Zach approached his wife as she began to choke up. "I-"

Kendall let Zach gently take away the phone. "Hi Bianca…no, she's not alright…"

* * *

After her 'little breakdown' as she liked to call it, Zach had taken Kendall away from the boys to get herself together. She decided that she wanted to tell everyone else at the same time, so Zach had arranged for a family dinner the next day at Jackson's.

It was in the late afternoon that they returned home. All she wanted to do was be at home with her boys and husband. She was about to let Tina go home an hour later when she realized she had completely forgot about her appointment.

"Oh!" she said, getting up off the couch.

Zach followed her as she grabbed her keys and purse. "What?'

"I forgot about my appointment in," she said looking at her watch, "twenty minutes."

She made her way to the door and turned around to say goodbye.

"I'll be home as soon-"

"Wait!" Zach huffed, his jacket half on. "I'll come with you."

A little nervous at first, Kendall nodded. It was one thing to tell him about it; it was another thing to hear it from a doctor. She just hoped he'd be okay…at least the most that he could be.

She smiled and held the door open. "I'd like that."

* * *

_**A/N**__: I couldn't remember the nanny's name, so I named her Tina. ____ Sidenote: as painful as it is to watch AMC right now, I kind of have to give props to the Kendall holding Annie scene for a quick minute after she gave up custody. No matter how psycho she is, or how much Kendall dislikes her, she recognized how hard it is to loose a child._

**Happyhunting**: Thank you sooooo much!

**Jillianna**: Thanks a bunch! And yes, Annie is PSYCHO!

**RedDragon**: As always, muah!


	7. Dinner and Some News

**Dinner and Some News**

"It was funny; he fell in front of the girl he was trying to impress by doing a trick on his board," Reggie said, laughing. "I don't think she'll be calling him anytime soon."

Lily watched as her family laughed with her brother. "That's not funny, especially if he got hurt."

Everyone stopped their laughter and smiled knowingly. "You're right honey," Jackson commented.

Kendall sat back in her chair and observed her make-shift family; Reggie was explaining what was funny to Lily, Jackson was pretending to be annoyed at Erica fixing his tie, Aiden and Greenlee couldn't stop smiling if they tried, her boys were playing with their food and enjoying it, and she could feel her husband, and then her mother staring at her.

"Kendall honey, you've been quiet all evening," Erica started. "Is everything all right?" she continued, gaining the attention of everyone else.

A little nervous about what she had to tell her family and how she would go about doing it, Kendall slowly nodded. "Yes mother; I'm fine. I did have to tell you all something though."

No less than the words were out of her mouth did her family begin postulating.

"What honey is it honey? Are you pregnant again?" Erica asked.

Greenlee didn't hesitate. "So that's why you've been acting funny?!"

"Is the baby all right?" Lily asked. "Didn't you get electrocuted?"

Zach felt Kendall tense briefly and then relax. She shook her head.

"No guys; I'm not pregnant. What I was trying to say is-"

"Mother why are you interrogating her in her condition?!"

Every single head turned to see Bianca with Miranda in tow. Met with silence, Bianca walked over to Kendall and put a protective hand on her shoulder.

"Bianca!" Erica yelled, elated. "What are you doing here?!" Erica quickly got up and gave Bianca a hug she wasn't quite returning.

Jackson met her as well. "Not that we're not thrilled that you're here honey," he said, placing a kiss on her forehead, "but what do you mean in her condition? She's not pregnant."

Bianca, surprised, nervously chuckled. "I meant…" she looked at Kendall and Zach for direction. "You haven't told them?"

Kendall gave a weak smile and shrugged her shoulders. "I was trying to."

"Okay," Reggie said. "What the heck is going on?"

Kendall motioned for Bianca to get a chair. "Mom, Jackson; you guys should sit down for this one."

Erica took a step back, only to resume her position in defiance. "What do you mean we should sit down? You tell-"

"Erica," Zach cut her off, "please, sit and listen to your daughter."

Jackson led a worried Erica to her seat and sat down himself.

"Kendall?" Greenlee probed, needing to know what was going on. She felt Aiden give her thigh a gentle squeeze.

"Well, I've had a bit of practice at delivering this news, so forgive the bluntness," Kendal began. She just needed to get through this, and then everything would be alright. She stole a quick glance at Zach and Bianca.

"So, I'm not pregnant."

"That's good," Lily stated.

Kendall chuckled lightly. "Yes," she said, looking pensive. "It is." She chose her next words carefully. "Weeks ago I wasn't feeling very well; I was fighting some pretty bad headaches and was tired all the time. Long story short, I got checked out and they ran some tests."

She stopped and looked at her family; it was a little harder than she thought it was going to be, if possible.

Her voice grew softer. "I, um…well, it turns out I have cancer. They want to start chemo soon. I have about six months left."

"Six months until you start chemo?" Erica asked. "Isn't that a little long to wait?"

Kendall swallowed hard. This was it. She forced the growing lump in her throat down and corrected her mother.

"No. Six months is how long they expect me to live."

The only sound heard after her statement was Greenlee's fork dropping. Still not ready to look up and see everybody's reactions, Kendall held her head down and played with her napkin. Bianca held and squeezed her hand; she didn't realize how much she needed her sister until that moment.

"No." Erica said softly. It sounded like a whisper.

"What honey?" Jackson asked.

"No," she said again, a little more forcefully. "There has to be something we can do."

Kendall met her mother's gaze and offered a smile. "There is. You guys can treat me like there is nothing wrong with me. Enough things are going to change and I would appreciate it if sometimes…you could just forget…or pretend to, for a just a little while."

"But there is something wrong with you. You are going to die," Lily said, her voice factual and tears streaming down her face. "I think I need to get more air outside."

Reggie got up and put his hand on Jackson to signal that he'd follow her. Before doing so, he walked over to Kendall, everyone else not daring to move just yet. He leaned over and hugged her, whispering in ear.

"You're going to be fine; you're Kendall."

Kendall looked up at her pseudo-brother's tear-filled eyes and nodded. She watched him go after Lily.

The room remained quiet and still. For once, not really enjoying the attention, Kendall got up and placed her napkin on the table, Zach standing to join her. "So, who wants dessert?"

Her joke didn't go over as planned.

"Kendall!" Erica yelled, getting up and throwing her chair back in the process. "How, how can you make light of something so, so-"

"Screwed up, unfair, painful, and all around unpleasant?" Kendall finished. "The alternative is too hard mother."

She didn't mean to sound so harsh; she simply couldn't stand the pity and silence. She knew they had every right to respond how they were; she even knew that the next person to hug her and tell her it was going to be alright would be the catalyst for the unleashing of the levees she was holding at bay, and the words that just left her mouth were an attempt to keep them back.

"I'm sorry," she muttered. "I'm going to go get the pie."

Aiden released his hand from Greenlee's as she got up slowly to follow Kendall. Miranda was looking around and trying to figure out what was going on as she played with her younger cousins. She knew something was making her mother sad.

Zach waited for Greenlee to enter the swinging door before addressing Erica, Jackson, Aiden, and Bianca.

"You have to understand how hard that was for her; how hard all of it's been," Zach explained. "I know you're angry and hurt and upset, but-"

"Upset?" Erica asked incredulously. "Upset is when someone breaks your favorite glass, or your team doesn't win. This," she said, motioning around her, "is something horrible, something final, something that affects all of us and she's acting like she has the flu instead of something ...and…."

Zach nodded in understanding and waited for Jackson to calm her down. He knew what she was feeling but needed to make things okay for his wife, first and foremost.

"This is a lot to take in," Bianca added, "but we have to be there for her, and right now she just needs everything to be normal for as long as it can. Think of what it's like for her."

Jackson nodded. "We can do that."

Everyone watched as Erica slowly nodded, looking quite troubled.

* * *

"Why didn't you tell me?" Greenlee asked, interrupting the silence her best friend was attempting to continue in.

Kendall put down the knife she was using to cut the pie and looked at Greenlee. "Truthfully?"

Greenlee nodded.

"I didn't know how. You're happy with Aiden, I needed to stop getting involved in other people's lives-" she stopped when Greenlee rolled her eyes and smiled. "Okay, so that's not really a valid point, but, you were happy. I also needed to tell Zach first, and look how long it took me to tell him. It was nothing personal Greens."

Greenlee sighed and leaned against the counter. "I know," she said quietly, holding back tears. "It's just…"

Kendall took a step forward and embraced Greenlee. "I know."

After a few seconds she stepped away and smoothed her hair. "What do you say we go out there and have some dessert?"

Greenlee smiled and took a few slices as if she were a waitress. "For now Slater; for now."

* * *

**A/N**: _I know!!! It was short! But after all your constant wonderful reviews, I felt that I should send out what I had so far. So, here you go and have a great weekend. Bug me again and I will TRY and get you a longer next one, SOON! :D_

_**ILoveMyAnimals**_: I'm humbled.  Thanks for reviewing!

_**SpunkySouthernGirl**_: Glad I could elicit that emotion from you!

_**Jilianna**_: Sorry it took be so long!

_**HappyHunting**_: Thanks for the names; glad you're still reading!

_**RedDragon**_: Hope it met your expectations!


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